Build your wedding guest list in this order: set the budget, turn it into a headcount, agree the rules (plus-ones, kids, coworkers), then sort names into tiers so you know who gets invited if someone declines. Track every household in one list, and collect replies in one place so you aren't counting texts the week the caterer needs numbers.
This guide covers who to invite, how to split the list between families, and how to track RSVPs. For what goes on the invitation itself, see our wedding invitation wording examples. If you'd rather start from a finished design, browse our wedding invitations.
Step 1: Turn the Budget Into a Headcount
Most of a reception's cost is per person: food, drinks, chairs, often the venue minimum. Divide what you can spend on the reception by your caterer's per-person price to get a ceiling, then compare it with your venue's capacity. The smaller number is your real limit.
Leave room for declines. A common rule of thumb is that some of the people you invite won't be able to come, usually more when many guests have to travel. Don't count on it to fit extra names into a small venue.
Step 2: Agree on the Rules Before Anyone Adds a Name
The hard conversations get easier when you apply one rule to everyone. Decide these together, and with whoever is helping pay:
- Plus-ones. Common rules: partners who live together, are engaged or married always get one; single guests get one only if they won't know anyone else.
- Kids. All kids, family kids only, or adults only. Whatever you pick, say it the same way to everyone.
- Coworkers. All of your team, or only the ones you see outside work. Inviting half a team causes more trouble than inviting none.
- The "last spoke" test. If you haven't talked in two years and wouldn't call them for news, they may not need an invitation.
- Parents' guests. Agree on a number for each set of parents up front, especially if they're contributing.
Step 3: Sort Names Into Tiers
| Tier | Who | When they're invited |
|---|---|---|
| Must invite | Immediate family, wedding party, closest friends | First round |
| Want to invite | Extended family, close friends, parents' closest friends | First round, if the headcount allows |
| Would like to invite | Coworkers, newer friends, friends of the family | Second round, as declines come in |
If you use a second round, send it at least six weeks before the wedding so it doesn't look like a late addition, and never post the wedding publicly before it goes out.
How to Split the List Between Families
- Thirds: one third for the couple, one for each family. Simple and common when families are similar in size.
- Halves: half per side, each side splitting its half however it wants.
- By contribution: those paying more get more seats. Say it openly so nobody feels shortchanged.
Whichever you pick, give each family a number, not a vague "a few".
How to Track the List and the RSVPs
Keep one master list, one row per household. A shared spreadsheet works; these columns cover almost every question you'll have later:
- Household name and the exact names invited (this decides who the invitation covers)
- Side (yours, theirs, shared) and tier
- Adults, kids and plus-one allowed
- Phone number and mailing address (for anyone getting paper)
- Save the date sent, invitation sent
- Reply: Going, Can't make it, Maybe, no answer
- Notes: dietary needs, travel, who to call
For the replies, send the invitation as a link. With TwistInvite, guests open the invitation in their browser and answer Going, Can't make it or Maybe without an app or account, and you see every answer in the App instead of in twenty text threads. Use your spreadsheet for the planning details and the App for who's coming. For how online replies work in general, see online invitations with RSVP.
Garden Wedding Designs to Send It With
If you're sending the invitation digitally, these three garden designs suit a list of any size:
Ivory Garden Vows
Best for a classic white garden ceremony. A white domed pavilion stands among cypress trees and white flowers, with sheer drapes that move in the breeze. Calm and timeless for every generation on the list.
Blush Watercolor Garden Wedding
Best for a soft, romantic wedding. A watercolor rose and a pink ribbon open into an illustrated ceremony under a rose arch, with guests seated on either side.
Palace Garden Vows
Best for a formal courtyard or hacienda-style venue. Palms, carved arches and long reflecting pools lead toward a lit doorway.
Lines That Say Who Is Invited
Most guest-list problems are solved by the names on the invitation. When you need words, keep them kind and short:
Plus-one included: We'd love for you and a guest to celebrate with us.
No plus-one: We've saved one seat in your name and can't wait to see you.
Adults only: We love your little ones, but our celebration will be adults only.
Family kids only: Apart from our nieces and nephews in the wedding party, the celebration will be adults only.
Keeping it child-free? See our adults-only wedding wording guide for polite lines and replies to parents.
Messages for Following Up
You send these yourself, by text, about a week before your reply date:
Hi Sam! Just checking you got our wedding invitation. We're finalizing numbers on May 1. Can you RSVP here? [link]
Hi Aunt Jo, I saw you replied Maybe, which is totally fine. Let us know by Friday if you can make it so we can save your seat.
Hi Chris, we'd love to have you there, but we need final numbers this week. If you can't make it, no problem at all; just let us know.
Guest List Timeline
| When | What |
|---|---|
| 10 to 12 months before | Budget, headcount, rules, first draft of the list |
| 6 to 8 months before | Save the dates (to the must and want tiers) |
| 6 to 8 weeks before | Invitations; 8 to 10 weeks for destination weddings |
| 4 to 6 weeks before | Second-round invitations, if any |
| 3 to 4 weeks before | Reply-by date; your follow-up texts the week before |
| 2 to 3 weeks before | Final numbers to the caterer and venue |
Need help with the first step? Our wedding save-the-date ideas cover what to send and when.
Common Guest List Mistakes
- Sending save the dates to people you might not invite.
- Writing "and family" when you mean two specific people.
- Different rules for different friends.
- Tracking replies across texts, calls and comments instead of one place.
- Forgetting the people who are working at your wedding, such as the photographer, when you count meals.
Send It and Track Replies in the App
- Pick a template in the TwistInvite App and add your event details, photos, video or audio, and a hold-to-record message.
- Share the link by text message to each household on your list.
- Guests reply Going, Can't make it or Maybe in their browser, no app or account needed.
- Check the App before your follow-up texts and your final count.
The free plan includes 3 events a month, free templates, RSVP tracking and 15-second video messages. Premium is $2.99 a week, $8.99 a month or $39.99 a year (USD; the App Store sets local prices). Open the TwistInvite App to send your wedding invitation.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I decide who to invite to my wedding?
Start from the headcount your budget and venue allow, agree rules for plus-ones, kids and coworkers, and sort names into tiers: must invite, want to invite and would like to invite.
Do I have to give every guest a plus-one?
No. A common rule is to include partners who live together, are engaged or married, and to offer a plus-one to single guests who won't know anyone else.
How should the guest list be split between families?
Common splits are thirds (couple and each family), halves (one per side) or by financial contribution. Give each family a specific number.
What is the best way to track wedding RSVPs?
Keep one master list with one row per household, and collect replies in one place. With TwistInvite, guests answer Going, Can't make it or Maybe in their browser and you see every reply in the App.
When should I follow up on missing RSVPs?
About a week before your reply-by date. Send a short personal text and give a clear date for the final count.
Is it rude to send a second round of invitations?
Not if it goes out at least six weeks before the wedding and the first-round guests haven't been told the list is full.
Create it in the TwistInvite app
Download free on iPhone or Android, then share one link with your guests.